As I sat at my computer filling out my PGCE application I had a C.S Lewis moment. What I mean by that is, C.S Lewis at the age of thirty wrote this quote: "at the age of thirty, I finally had to come to terms with the fact I was a walking talking adult." I want kids, I would like a lovely wife as well, perhaps it is time I started preparing the ground for that. I honestly believe that my childlike view of the world is not wrong, we grow old because we stop playing, I don't intend on stopping playing, running around the house with Nerf guns is something I will do with my own children, it is far too much fun. Nevertheless it is time to grow up, because as my elder Stew put it, I am not a child anymore. Indeed I am no longer a new christian child, but a new christian man. Time shake off the nothingness and go for gold. I can summerise my early twenties as a feat of whimsical nostalgia, born of childlike ignorance. I genuinely believed I went through two childhood's, the one with an absent biological father, and the one where I got to know my real father— my heavenly father.
This does not mean that my hours of writing will be traded for hours in front of the telly, but I will at long last get some life focus. I have made strides towards it in the last year, with goal setting and list making. Something which I have never done before, I am at last becoming a productive human. Whilst I enjoy the fun and games and I am sure those around me do to. What I have now (the job and my current life style) I will consider a hindrance by the time I hit my thirties, especially if I am married. Or worse I'll just become a dead weight, still living with mum, no recognisable future, just drifting. After all, we all have to grow up sometime. My advice is this— grow up, but don't ever grow old, and you should be end up reasonably content. Whats the difference? We grow old because we stop playing, we grow up because it is the right thing to do.
