The pursuit of Happiness

The fight for spiritual contentment is one we all face. As I reach my early twenties, I am becoming aware that many of us are not happy. Though I find myself to be quite content, I look around and I see a lot of angry people. The quote I hear only too often is “I am not getting paid enough.” Of course, you aren’t and most top executives, CEO’s and clerical assistants and everyone besides believes that too. If you really want to be content, you have to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Their lives aren’t any better than yours, they are just different. The grass will always be greener on the other side. So the best thing you can do is to stop peering over the hedge because it will only make you miserable. Everyone including celebrities have problems, I mean look at Amy Winehouse. Now that I have mentioned it, my hope is that you will become acutely aware of envy as the week goes by you begin to realise we live to our means. Whatever you have, you will spend, so stop looking on in envy at what everyone else has got and get back to living! You are in this moment only. In this time, you exist and only this time. Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, but today is a gift that is why we call it the present₁. What do you need to do other than breathe to survive for another twenty seconds? Contentment can not be achieved outwardly through material gain and yes many have tried. It is about accepting what you have as being enough, whether you are in a one million pound house or a bed sit.  

₁1902 book, "Sun Dials and Roses of Yesterday: Garden Delights..." by Alice Morse Earle.

Growth Through Getting It Wrong

Life  in case you haven’t noticed will sometimes kick you when your down. I think due to the week I have had it would be an appropriate time to discuss failure. It has been a significant week, in terms of failures. The young people had their tennis tournaments this week. The results were mixed, some lost. I had to lead yet another football session. It did not go well, I lost my temper. Whenever I fail at something I have a habit of beating myself up for about a week. This is bad because there is a danger I will miss the point. With every defeat and failure, there are lessons to be learned. I recall what was said to Bruce in Batman Begins after he came close to dying: “Why do we fall Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again.” You see we only ever truly fail at something when we stop trying. Its OK to make mistakes, it's not OK to give up because you are making mistakes. And it's not OK to be childish because your mistakes cost you.

I did a lot wrong when leading that session. I did no stay calm. I was too proud to get another worker. The list to me seemed endless. However, what I did notice was that only a handful of young people caused the problems. The young people who I had spent time with did not get involved. They stayed back, they were obedient. All most young people want is your attention, you give them that and you get their respect. That is the main thing I learned from that session.

Now for the second lesson. When you make mistakes, it is easy to blame someone else. The truth is the blame normally falls on the man who points the finger. It is easy to blame someone else. The world is wrong, and I am right. However, if you don’t look inwards for your solutions then you will never grow as a person. So go out, make mistakes and learn and eventually your mistakes will build to your successes. And remember 'many of lives failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up' - Thomas Alva Edison (February 11, 1847 – October 18, 1931).

My future love

My future love I wonder where you are.

Lounging on the lawn or driving your car.

I long to meet you, to touch your face.

To have your kids and build our place.

I wonder if we met before, in a far away land or a distant shore...

My future love did I see you in my sleep?

I fell in our love, for it was so deep.

As I woke your face was carried away.

Leaving me alone for another day.

My future love come along soon, for life is short but too long without you.

Is something getting the best of you?

This is not an article about self exploration per se. More about reaching one's potential. I had a revelation today as I was playing tennis. Tennis has been a bed rock in my life since my childhood but now I am starting to get serious, at least my attitude is. What I have found with a sport like tennis is that unless I am absolutely pushing then there is a real possibility that I will get worse. Attitude proceeds ability. I may have got marginally better in the last year but I am still not happy. Why? Because whilst I have improved my lack lustre attitude means I am not improving nearly as quickly as I would like. So what changed? I began questioning every shot. How can I improve on that? And for the first time the majority of my forehands went in, with force, power and control. I was fighting myself to get better. I hope this fight lasts, striving to be continually better is something that could transform every aspect of my life, not just my tennis game.  And why bother? Because as two of our fish found out this morning (we found them dead), life is not nearly as long as it first appears. In fact it is over in a flash.  Don't you want to make your mark before your time is done?